I am a semi-working actor. I'm not out of work(at the moment) but I am also not uber-famous nor am I working at the top tier of performing spaces available for actors and have not had the privilege of working year round (some are lucky enough to do that). Out of the past three years I would say, on average, I have worked 5 months out of each year. Which any actor will tell you is unbelievable. Those actors will also tell you that the lifestyle requires one to be in a constant state of feast or famine(name of blog). When an actor is working he is everyone's best friend. He buys drinks, he is a social animal, people want to come to his show he is told to follow his dreams, everyone is jealous that he has chosen the road less traveled, he is the next Tom/Meryl/Denzel/Julia blazing star on People magazine. When an actor is not working he the becomes everyones pet project. Maybe he should get a real job, New York is so expensive, how is he going to support a family, doesn't he want kids someday. He becomes a sugar coated nuisance. My most favorite question is: "So how long do you think you're going to be doing this?"
I have been acting since the age of 5 when I was put in the play
Labafanna(elementary school spelling) at my school.
La Befana(original spelling) is an Italian fictional character sort of like Santa. She gives coal to the bad children and gifts to the good children. Don't ask me why an all black elementary school was doing a play about an Italian Santa Witch that somehow was also suppose to commemorate Kwanzaa. I can still remember the smudges of black char on my little hands as I reached into my bag and pulled out bits of barbecue charcoal and gave it to all the kids in my class that I hated. I remember the feeling of glee at giving my ultimate number one crush, Chadwick, the biggest brightest gift in the bag. I don't remember the speech. I do, however remember the applause. I was terriffic.
Since that moment I haven't really wanted to do anything else. There was a brief point in history where I was going to be a nurse. I have been acting or singing my entire life. There is nothing else. I don't know anything else. The older I get and the more famine I tend to experience the more I am asking myself, what if there is something else? What else could there be?
I was never one of those dream about your wedding how many kids would I have what kind of house to live in little girls. I was good. I did what my parents said, I sang at church because I had to, I had no other choice, questioning authority got my lip smacked so I didn't question it. I was like a horse in Central Park: can't see peripherally and just trying to survive the next block. As a kid/teenager my "future" consisted of getting to the next day, surviving that waking up and getting to the next day. Taking care of my brothers and getting to the next day. I knew I was suppose to go to college. That's it. Just go. I assumed once I went to college I would die. I did not plan to be older than 21.
Sooooo now that I find myself at the ripe old age of 32, looking at others who are also my age, I feel a little behind. First of all, I
AM glad to not be dead and glad to still be doing what I've always done (yay!). But I feel extremely unprepared for this portion of my life. Now, I know, we are all different. Things come to people at different times and you can only know what you know at the time that you know it. But I have to say, there are some things that would have been nice to learn early in life. For instance:
Money Management: If someone had told me back then what it truly takes to own a house, I would have been saving from the age of 10.
The Value of Practice/Rehearsing(
homework): You can't know something really well by only doing it once and just because something turns out amazing when you do it once doesn't mean that you shouldn't practice, and try again to see if you can continue to be perfect.
Planning Ahead: I am usually always late places because I forget that you have to get there before you are there. If you have to be to work at 9 and your job is thirty minutes away and it takes you an hour to get yourself ready waking up at 8 just isn't going to cut (yes there are times I still do this).
Here's the point: Living your dream should be happy and healthy. Right now I am happy but not very healthly; feast and famine can be very stressful. I owe way too many people, would be living on the street without a roommate and should anything happen to my family there isn't a guarantee I could help out.
I would like to know what it's like to live in the in between. Not so much feast and not so much famine but a tiny little plateau. I have dedicated this year to beginning my financial well being. I figured I'd work on that first since that's where the majority of my stress stems. Sharing this will get me thinking about it daily. It's embarrassing to tell someone you are devoted to something and then drop the ball. Those who read this will be my accountability partners in financial intelligence. Don't worry you won't have to do anything. But publishing my journey will, I hope, put a fire in my butt and help me stay on track. Plus, it will be nice to read these at the end of the year to see how far I go (forward or backward). I want to be able to live this crazy actors life for as long as possible because there is nothing else I want to do. There are some plan B's (which when I think about them all suck). This is the only thing that makes me happy and I have to learn how to fully support this life. So here's to planning ahead with constant practice. I hope you will send encouragement as I embark on this journey.
P.S. In the last blog I said it would be about my friends and their various goings on. I will still periodically advertise for friends and family and hope that you would also participate if you see something interesting. I want to contribute to someone else's Feast!
